Tips for Thought

What is Sexual Aftercare? Here are the Basics

Sex is an incredibly intimate activity between partners. However, one shouldn’t limit our focus to just foreplay and the act itself. Most people may experience heightened feelings before they eventually subdue after sex, leading to complicated emotions. Fortunately, sexual aftercare can help address these needs.

What is sexual aftercare?

Sexual aftercare refers to any affectionate behavior you show your partner after sex. This part includes discussing what you like (and didn’t like) about sex, sharing your feelings, cuddling, and even taking a warm bath together.

Why is sexual aftercare important?

Sexual aftercare is essential because people may experience different emotions right after sex. It also brings you closer to your partner and offers a more intimate connection.

In the BDSM community, certain dynamics that involve pushing boundaries may bring the partner into a “drop” where endorphin levels lower after a play session. This drop effect includes feelings of sadness and even depression despite providing explicit consent before having sex. To reassure the partner that they are loved, and the play session was only for pretend, a dom (dominant) may perform aftercare activities to help their sub (submissive) feel safe and secure.

Is this feeling normal?

It is entirely normal to experience conflicting emotions after sex. After all, it’s just the effect of the endorphins level dropping and working its way to retain its normal levels afterward.

However, if you are experiencing intense feelings of depression and rejection every time you have sex or see sex as a band-aid for your issues, you may have post-coital dysphoria (PCD). Additionally, if your feelings towards sex are complicated and trigger unwanted memories, seek psychological help immediately.

What are some examples of aftercare?

Some examples and tips of sexual aftercare you can try include:

  • Talking about your feelings;
  • Reassuring your partner that they are loved;
  • Treating and massaging your partner’s sore spots;
  • Helping them wash up after sex;
  • Assist them in dressing up and staying in bed;
  • Prepare them a warm drink and snack to help replenish their energy; and
  • Play their favorite movie or show and take a nap after

The possibilities are endless. If you are unsure, encourage your partner to share what they like to do after sex.

Can I perform aftercare even if I’m not into BDSM?

Yes, any consenting adult can perform sexual aftercare, even for non-kinksters. The act of unwinding after sex and caring for each other is a great way to strengthen your relationship and help ensure your partner that they are not just a sexual object.

Sexual aftercare is a great way to strengthen your bond and relationship with your partner. Learning what works and what doesn’t work for you as a couple can help you figure out your sexual dynamic as you go along. If you have issues with intense feelings of depression and rejection after sex, consider contacting a psychotherapist to address these issues.

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Tips for Thoughts

Copyright 2022 | All Rights Reserved.