Tips for Thought

How to Settle Conflict and Misunderstanding in Relationships

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship because there is no perfect person. Here’s how to settle conflict and misunderstanding healthily.

Relationships grow stronger by going through misunderstandings from time to time. However, this is only true when both sides are willing to work on it consistently. Regardless of what kind of relationship we’re talking about, these are the golden rules for a smooth-sailing bond after solving rough times.

Sit down and talk it out

Prolonging the misunderstanding and letting it die down on its own can only create bigger problems in the future. In settling the conflict, it’s always best to discuss every detail and let each other have time to express their thoughts and feelings. This way, both perspectives can be put to light and assurance can be given.

Avoid involving other people in your misunderstanding

Conflicts can go out of hand when people who don’t know the whole story offer their own opinions and thoughts. While it’s normal to seek guidance and comfort from people you trust, your partner is the best person to discuss all your troubles with, especially the ones concerning your relationship.

Check up on each other before, during, and after

It’s essential to check your partner from time to time regardless of whether you’re okay or not. Before you take the time to talk, ask them if they have the energy or headspace to talk about it. While resolving the conflict, check up on them as well. The same goes for after the talk. This way, you can provide reassurance and validate how they feel and vice-versa.

Come up with solutions together

Once you have communicated every single detail with each other, it’s time to talk about how you can prevent it from happening again. Aside from talking about how to resolve the conflict, you can take the time to exchange apologies as well. Establishing “rules” and small reminders goes a long way, especially in building a more meaningful relationship that will last a long time.

Know each other’s attachment styles

Knowing each other’s attachment styles is important so that you know how to approach the misunderstanding. Some people prefer resolving the conflict immediately, some need a little more time to think and reflect, and some automatically isolate as a way of being defensive. Generally, there are four attachment styles namely: Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized, and Secure. Aside from asking each other what you would appreciate during misunderstandings, it would also be nice to observe the little things about your partner.

All in all, these are the small nuggets of wisdom that can help you settle conflict and misunderstandings healthily. Remember: it’s you and your partner against the problem and not you versus each other.