Tips for Thought

Want to build a stronger connection with your partner? Communication is key to any successful relationship. Asking the right questions can help couples get to know each other better and deepen their connection. It can also help you understand your partner’s needs and expectations and can also help you build trust and deepen your connection.

To begin, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

1. Set the mood by creating a cozy and comfortable atmosphere for the conversation.

2. Always be respectful and considerate of your partner when asking questions. Avoid using accusatory or confrontational language, and focus on expressing your feelings and thoughts in a non-judgmental way.

3. Keep an open mind and be willing to hear your partner’s words. Avoid getting defensive or shutting down if you hear something that you don’t like or agree with. Remember, the goal is to deepen your understanding of each other and strengthen your relationship.

Now here are the questions to ask in your relationship:

1. What are your expectations for the relationship?

This question helps to establish what your partner wants from the relationship and whether their goals and values align with yours. It can also help to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications.

Ask: “What are your thoughts on the future of our relationship?”

2. What are your boundaries and deal-breakers?

Boundaries are important in any relationship, and understanding what is and isn’t acceptable to your partner can help you avoid conflicts and hurt feelings.

Ask: “What are some things that are off-limits for you in our relationship?”

3. What are your love languages?

Everyone expresses and receives love differently, and understanding your partner’s love language can help you show affection and appreciation in ways that resonate with them.

Ask: “How do you like to receive love and affection?”

4. How do you handle conflict?

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and understanding how your partner handles disagreements can help you navigate disagreements more effectively.

Ask: “How do you prefer to resolve conflicts when they arise?”

5. What are your personal goals and aspirations?

Understanding your partner’s personal goals and dreams can help you support and encourage them in their endeavors.

Ask: “What are some things you hope to accomplish in the next few years?”

6. What are your pet peeves or things that bother you?

Knowing what irritates your partner can help you avoid doing things that may upset them or at least help you understand why they might be upset in certain situations.

Ask: “What are some things that I do that might annoy you?”

7. What are your family and cultural traditions?

Learning about your partner’s background and cultural traditions can help you better understand them and appreciate their heritage.

Ask: “What are some of your favorite family traditions?”

8. What are your financial goals and priorities?

Understanding your partner’s approach to money and finances can help you plan for the future and make important financial decisions together.

Ask: “What are some of your financial goals for the next few years?”

9. What are your favorite hobbies or activities?

Sharing common interests and hobbies can help you bond with your partner and create shared experiences.

Ask: “What are some of your favorite hobbies or activities that we can do together?”

10. What are your fears or insecurities?

Knowing your partner’s fears and insecurities can help you support and reassure them in times of need.

Ask: “What are some things that make you feel anxious or insecure?”

11. What are your communication preferences?

Understanding how your partner likes to communicate (for example, in-person, over the phone, or via text) can help you stay connected and avoid misunderstandings.

Ask: “What is your preferred method of communication when we’re apart?”

12. What are our strengths and weaknesses as a couple?

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses as a couple can help you work together to overcome challenges and build a stronger relationship.

Ask: “What do you think are some things we’re really good at as a couple, and where do we need to improve?”

13. How do you feel about marriage and children?

Understanding your partner’s views on marriage and children can help you plan for the future and make important decisions about your relationship.

Ask: “Do you see yourself getting married and having children in the future?”

14. What are your expectations for intimacy and sex?

Having open and honest conversations about intimacy and sex can help you and your partner establish boundaries and preferences and can help you have a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.

Ask: “What are some things that you enjoy or would like to try when it comes to intimacy?”

15. How do you handle stress and difficult emotions?

Knowing how your partner copes with stress and difficult emotions can help you support them and offer comfort when they need it most.

Ask: “What are some things that help you feel better when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed?”

16. What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?

Understanding your partner’s beliefs and values can help you better understand and appreciate them as a person and can also help you navigate potential conflicts related to religion or spirituality.

Ask: “What role does religion or spirituality play in your life?”

17. How do you like to spend your free time?

Knowing how your partner likes to spend their free time can help you plan activities and outings that they will enjoy and look forward to.

Ask: “What are some of your favorite things to do in your free time?”

18. What are your thoughts on long-term commitment?

Understanding your partner’s thoughts on long-term commitment can help you gauge their level of commitment to the relationship and plan for the future together.

Ask: “How important is a long-term commitment to you in our relationship?”

These are just a few examples of the many questions that can help deepen your understanding of your partner. Remember that open and honest communication is key, and don’t be afraid to ask questions that might be difficult or uncomfortable.

Books and games

If you’re looking for further resources on improving communication in your relationship, check out these helpful books:

Book 1: The Five Love Languages—by Gary Chapman

Book 2: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life—by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Book 3: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook—by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley

By taking the time to read these books, you can build a healthier connection with your partner. Now, let’s talk about some fun games and activities that can help you strengthen your relationship:

Game 1: Life Sutra Couple Reconnect Game—thought-provoking questions

Game 2: TableTopics Date Night—conversation starters

Game 3: Love Lingual: The Card Game—learn about love languages

Playing these games designed to facilitate conversations and deepen your connection can be a fun and enjoyable way to strengthen your relationship. So, take the time to ask your partner these important questions, and make it a priority to continue to explore each other’s thoughts, feelings, and desires as your relationship grows and evolves over time.